Wednesday, May 30, 2012

~*Why So Many Needs?*~

We've had an interesting question come up recently.

Why would we purposely adopt children with such significant special needs?  

The easy answer is "why not?".  

Would we reject a child born to us with special needs?
 No! 
Then, why, would we reject a child or children with special needs?

The thing with adoption is that you are able to pick and choose the special needs your comfortable with.  Honestly, I have a hard time thinking about parenting certain special needs...not because they scare me simply because the level of care needed, for certain ones, is higher than what we are able to offer at this point in time.  We are not set up for medically fragile or non-ambulatory at this time, yet, that may change in the future.

The thing with birth children is that we do not get the choice in which special needs we parent.  My first birth child was born with no Thyroid*.  So easy to treat, yet, before the common practice of newborn screening to detect this treatable disorder, 80% of all mental disability at birth was attributed to Thyroid* disorders.  My 2nd birth child was born with severe food allergies, not exactly on the special needs spectrum, yet, something that needs daily accommodation likely for the rest of her life.

Where is the largest need in the adoption world?
Is it with the healthy, non-special needs, "normal" children?

No!

It is with the children who have been broken, abused, forgotten, left behind, cast aside.  Jesus called them "The least of these". 

We go where the need is.
Love is not confined to health, wealth, borders or boundaries. I cannot imagine looking at this face and saying "I'm sorry but your needs are too great.  You will have to wait longer because I, too, do not want you."

                
I know that not every family has been called to adoption, however, the urge to provide for the least of these should not be contained to just those who bring them into their homes to care for and love.  

The burden is placed squarely on the shoulders of all of us.  We are all expected to care for them.  

We were not told to pick and choose who we give care and affection to.  We have not been directed to pick which special needs deserve the blessing of a home and family.

They *all* are worth it.  Down Syndrome, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, Reactive Attachment, etc.  Their special "need" is much simpler than a diagnosis...the need is love and we can all offer that!    

4 comments:

  1. Love this, and through our journey I have seen such a Grace - God softened our hearts to our sons need before he presented us with our son. If you had told me even 6 years ago I would have 3 children with dwarfism and a double amputee I would have laughed you all the way home!

    What have I found - the fact that they were abandoned, and lived without a family even part of their lives far out weighs "their needs". And you know what - even the sweet little babies adopted as NSN have this as part of their core.

    As one friend recently told me - plain and simple ALL Children need a family.

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    1. I, honestly, cannot fathom why anyone would even ASK the question. I really struggle to understand how they can even THINK the question. Every child needs a home.

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  2. I agree that every child needs a home but...and I'm not trying to be argumentative, I think it is wise to pray and seek God's particular direction for OUR family. I know you agree. I have known couples whose marriage failed because the strain of a special needs child was too much. I know of a couple of "failed adoptions" where the parents were not prepared for the needs of the child they adopted. I honestly am not sure how well our marriage would manage the strain of a very high needs adopted child. I am not sure we have the personality types to handle it well. If God says do it, we will. But I don't want to leap ahead and adopt because of the need...though I see the need, I see all those kids who need homes and it breaks my heart. I am so...delighted, pleased, amazed, awed, impressed that God has led your family on this very special road. You and your dh are a blessing to all your children, and will be blessed by your kids because you are letting the Lord guide you in these things.

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    1. Laraba, my point is that if you had a child born to you with special needs you would be given the grace to parent that child and you would not reject that child. Many times we are not prepared to parent a child with special needs and my point is that we shouldn't reject a child (birth or adopted) simply because of special needs.

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