Wednesday, July 2, 2014

~*And She Knew It Was Her Birthday*~

Birthday anxiety is extremely real and extremely severe for a few of my peeps, therefore, when one comes around we keep it to a dull roar with the celebrations. Analina isn't so good with the calendar, yet, and when her birthday came around on Wednesday we didn't do any big celebrations, as we were saving them for this weekend with family, we thought (heh heh) that she hadn't taken notice.

During our yearly tromp over to the East Side of Michigan for our former agency's picnic she introduced herself as having recently turned 7 last Wednesday. Girlfriend amazes me....nothing gets past her and she's always listening and taking it all in...and *never* assume your child doesn't know! *head smack* Duh! They know!
The Joy Boy was down for the count after Detroit's heat on Sat.
She chose a funky mixture of Man with the Yellow Hat, Curious George and Dora for her birthday theme. Many Asian girls have a thing for Dora....she looks surprisingly Asian....and Curious George is the only thing she would willingly sit down and watch during the first year home.

Man with the Yellow Hat cake...ugly but yummy!

Her sweetness was in full-on princess mode. She loudly told me in church, while sitting in the pew, "I'm ready for my gifts now!" She was incredibly bossy, attitudy, and controlling. We know and understand the act is to protect herself, however, it still hurt when she dumped off our gift and acted as if it had been drug through some cow manure. 
That is the look of a very mad child. Our gift of love was rejected.
And to secure our rejection and punishment she loved and adored her next gift. 

 Her birthday was like this last year...all the joy was sucked out of it for us....she pushes away the people she loves for fear that we won't remember her special day. To her the slimmest chance of all the worst things happening is reality in her mind. She does all she can to make them happen. My sweet girl will measure how much we love her based upon how many gifts she has, how big her cake and celebration are.

My hope is that at some point she will feel secure enough to know we truly love her and are committed to her. The hurt and pain are deep, often deeper than we ever realize. She will heal and in the end we know she'll be happy and secure, and while the journey is long and difficult, we get the blessing of seeing her bloom! 
Sweet smile hiding tons of fears.
 Job 11:18

You will be secure, because there is hope;
    you will look about you and take your rest in safety.

1 comment:

  1. Aw, bless you all. It takes such wisdom and patience for you to parent her, and love her, well. I do understand what you are saying -- I think -- that she'd rather just assume things won't go well because then she won't be hurt. AND she'll push you to see if you'll continue to love her even when she doesn't behave well. May the Lord give you wisdom!


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